Greetings.
The big event on the wrestling calendar this week is the WWE’s first major pay per view of 2019, the Royal Rumble event. In addition to a thirty man Royal Rumble, the WWE will also be presenting a thirty woman Royal Rumble.
While I enjoy the spontaneity and unbridled action of the Rumble, and it might sound compelling, at least on paper, to have a new contestant coming in every two minutes, it’s not the least bit fair to have some guys come in at the beginning and have to go through all the trials and tribulations (regardless whether it’s a work), while the others who get to come in near the end, generally have to go through far less and invariably seem to get their hands raised.
I know damn well that in the popular NCAA Final Four basketball tournament, they have sixty four teams at the outset and they all have to earn their way in (which isn’t the case in the Rumble) and they have to go through the same trials and tribulations in order to get to the finals and to win.
I’d venture to say that if the NCAA had a similar format to the WWE and had major teams like Kentucky, Duke, Indiana and North Carolina getting to come in at the end, it would be met with outcry and protest and fans would cease to take it very seriously.
As for the Divas so-called Rumble, I hate to be casting aspersions, but the last time I looked there weren’t thirty two competent and capable Divas around to make one take it seriously.
There are, nonetheless, some extremely talented girls on the roster and hopefully those orchestrating the schematics will go lightly on the nondescripts and washed up retreads and let the proverbial cream rise to the top in this one.
As if having the two Royal Rumbles wasn’t enough, the pay per view will have:
- Brock Lesnar vs. Finn Balor – WWE Universal Championship
- Daniel Bryan vs. AJ Styles – WWE Championship
- Ronda Rousey vs. Sasha Banks – WWE RAW Women’s Championship
- Asuka vs. Becky Lynch – WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship
- The Bar vs. Shane McMahon & The Miz – WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championships
- Rusev vs. Shinsuke Nakamura – WWE United States Championship (Kick-off Show)
- Buddy Murphy vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Kalisto vs. Hideo Itami – WWE Cruiserweight Championship Fatal 4-Way (Kick-off Show)
On paper, that sounds like an awesome lineup, however, in many ways the sheer number of matches plus the prevailing egocentricity of many of the combatants – which makes it impossible for them to do a job, virtually guarantees that there will be an overload of swerve finishes and all kinds of other illicit bullshit. Hopefully that won’t be the case, but probably will be.
Beyond that, far too many of the wrestlers, especially those who don’t understand ring psychology cater to the mindless “smart mark” morons who routinely chant “holy shit” and “you fucked up” by going overboard on dangerous high spots, which, after a while, tend to make the wrestling – which, correct me if I’m wrong, is supposed to be the main course, seem incidental to all the other bullshit.
I realize it’s obligatory for the WWE to whet the appetites of the marks by using the so-called sizzle to sell the steak, but if I went out to dinner, looking forward to eating a succulent steak, but was having to consume chicken, lasagna, pork chops, hamburgers, hot dogs, french fries, soup, salad, dessert and whatever the hell else before I got to the main course, by the time I got around to my steak, after having stuffed my face on all the other, I probably wouldn’t have much appetite for any more – which, all too often tends to be the case at events like the Rumble.
Having said all that, I hope the powers that be tend in the WWE surprise me by rising above all of that and rendering an awesome card, which sets the table for an even greater Wrestlemania.
In closing, I’d like to offer my condolences to my old friend Bruce Swayze, whose son Billy was killed in a car accident this past week in Kentucky.
I’ll close on that sombre note but will look forward to catching up with you all next time.
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