EDDIE GUERRERO vs. DEAN MALENKO
We start off the match with a shoving match and a kip-up, which isn’t exactly what I expected. They do some weird chain wrestling which ends with an Eddie hammerlock while Steve McMichael talks about a hundred and one sex positions. I think he’s trying to make a joke about Dean Malenko but he isn’t funny or talented so he can’t. We interrupt the match with Hogan driving into the building, which actually illustrates perfectly most of the problems with WCW. We come back to more weird uncallable chain wrestling and Eddie jumps over the top rope to the outside because of course he does. Bobby Heenan tries to cover for the dead crowd by saying they’re really shocked that Eddie jumped over the top rope, and out of nowhere he gets the cover with a rollup.
They shake hands and agree to a rematch after the fact, Steve McMichael calls it “the WCW” again, which makes me hate him even more, and we get a live interview with Hulk Hogan. Wow, they must be paying him big time to bother being here. Hulk Hogan is bringing it live in the arena, not via satellite, brother! Mean Gene takes my annoyance to a whole new level by calling it “The World Championship Wrestling” and Hogan cuts a promo about a kid getting a double lung transplant who told him to beat up Giant. Yup, that’s pretty much what I expected. The Taskmaster disguised as a fan at ringside beats up Hulk with a cane, which Steve McMichael is apparently excited by.
Giant and Zodiac come out, Giant snaps Hogan’s neck again and the commentators pretty much sell it like they just literally killed him. They also shave off his moustache, but that’s not really so much of a worry when they just broke his neck. For a second there I actually thought they were just going to shave it into a Hitler mustache, which would have been pretty great. The Nasty Boys and the American Males both try to beat up the Giant and all fail miserably while the commentator team sells the mustache shaving like a school bus driving off of a cliff. Seriously, calm down guys, it’s just a mustache.
